Along my quest to create the life of my dreams, I consult with people I trust to help me reach clarity on different issues in my life.
Here is what I'm clear on:
- I don't like dwelling on my problems.
- I like living in the solution to my problems.
- I believe our thoughts are things. Any thoughts we continually think, which are attached to strong emotion, have a great chance of materializing in our life.
Good News For Some Is Bad News For Others
Here is what I've just started to learn at a DEEPER level than ever before.
- If "I'm" not the problem, there is NO solution.
In other words, have you ever heard of the spiritual axiom that goes like this:
"Whatever is bothering me (about a person or a situation), there is something in me that I need to take a look at or change."
In other words, the answers are ALWAYS inside me. The answers are never going to be found outside of me.
Even if I'm dealing with a person or situation that is "broken"!
What Is Victim Mode?
I know this sounds like a heck of a lot to "take in" but just be open minded for a moment. Think of the alternative. If my answers are dependent on someone or something else changing, then that puts me in the dependent mode. My happiness is going to depend on "you or it" changing. You could even go so far as to say that waiting for someone else to change is a victim mode. Do I want to be there? No. For me to have some power in the situation, the answers must come from me.
The Key Is Within Me
I was just sharing with my spiritual advisor that I am frustrated with nursing because I constantly have situations THRUST upon me that I am forced to deal with and it leaves me feeling put upon. I feel like I have no choices...I literally feel like a victim sometimes. She had the nerve to say, "The answers to that problem are in you, not outside of you." Then she went on to ask me a list of questions that began to show me that the answers really are in me.
-What can you change in your life?
-How can you change your thinking?
-What steps are you taking to create the life of your dreams?
-Are you too tolerant?
-Are you too intolerant?
-Are you too judgmental or negative?
-Are you too sensitive? Do you take things too personally?
-How can you take better care of yourself in your life? (emotionally, physically, mentally & spiritually)
-Do you speak up for yourself? (verbally/e-mail/chain of command)
-Do you set boundaries? Do you know how to set boundaries?
-Are you over extending yourself on your work days? Are you taking your breaks?
-Are you over extending yourself on your days off?
-Are your expectations of yourself at work too high? Isn't it a "24/7" job?
-Are you passing things on to the next shift that can be passed on? (WITHOUT guilt!)
-Do you feel overly responsible for your patients' pain or nausea?
-Do you feel overly responsible for people's happiness in your life?
-What messages are you giving yourself while at work (during stress)? What is your self-talk like? Is it all negative and defeatist?
Remember, (in life in general) if you don't have anything positive to say, it's better to say nothing at all than to start in with negativity such as "Darn it, I never have enough help!" or "I hate this job!" or "This place is killing me!" Negative statements FILLED with emotion can come true just as much as positive statements filled with emotion. They are both affirmations!
Needless to say, the questions go on and on.
Only 1 in 20 Are Willing
Asking yourself how can you change your actions, choices, thoughts, perceptions and words to deal with the stress of nursing is a crucial step in taking back the power in your life. Taking responsibility for our lives is always the right answer. Actually doing the actions to create change is an ongoing daily responsibility.
Remember, "Successful people do what unsuccessful people are not willing to do, and that often means living outside the limits of one's comfort zone." Only about 1 in 20 people are willing to do this...live a life of self responsibility.
Paying For Comfort
In the end, however, the majority of people who weren't willing to ask themselves important questions earlier in their lives (to challenge their comfort zone) find they pay for it with their finances, health, relationships and successes. The good news is that the people on the success curve live much more comfortably later on because their finances, health, relationships and successes are intact!
Question: In what way are you willing to challenge your comfort zone today? (Answer by posting a comment below)
Take Care Of Yourselves Nurses!
Theresa Waller, RN
714 293 5398 Call Anytime