Sunday, November 30, 2008

Nursing Stress? - I Prefer Plan B Please

I go to God with all the desires of my heart including answers to my nursing stress. Although I suppose it could be argued that God already knows every desire of my heart. But that's not the point. The real reason I do this is so that I become aware of my every desire.

It's important to be clear about what you want. If you're not clear about how you want your life to look like, that's what you'll unclear, willy-nilly life that someone else (your job, your family, society) is defining for you. Yes, God already knows my every desire. But until I write it down (pen to paper) I'm not always aware. And mark my words, asking God for my heart's desires via PEN TO PAPER is very, very powerful. Remember: Seek and yee shall find. Seeking is asking.

Now, do I pout if I don't get that brand new perfect home filing system the very next day after asking for it? Or do I pout if the relationship with my anxiety-ridden mother doesn't improve over night? Or what if the new wardrobe I asked for seems to allude me for a while? Do I worry and fret over it? No.

Because I am in 100% acceptance of God's wisdom and generosity and timing. His Plan B or his "longer than I expected" version of my Plan A is always, always okay with me. In fact, I trust God's Plan B for me over my own Plan A. Ultimately, I guess you could say that I trust infinite God rather than my finite self. It's called faith. It's acquired by including God in everything you do. Asking him to fulfill your heart's desires (small and big) is the best way to build a strong relationship with him. And, by the way, that's the best gift I can ever pass on to another human being...the certainty that my God loves me and wants me happy.

A couple months ago, I wrote down that my husband gives me gifts at the most unexpected times. He's always been a wonderful partner but since then he's been even more so. The other morning, he made me a killer breakfast burrito AND paid to have new gears put on my bike (loaded and unloaded my bike into the car), along with being Mr. Fix-it around the house. I won't even mention the wonderful massage he gave me. Lovely. :)

Less than a month ago, I wrote down that I get out on time and that I'm always able to complete my charting on time just to name a few items. (there were more!) The next week, I went into work and a new feature had been added to our charting system. An "Auto Enter" button had been added. In other words, if data is exactly the same (and in many cases it is from one shift to another), we can now hit the auto enter button to copy it over. No more individual clicking in certain areas! Quicker charting means better chance of getting out on time. Hooray! An answer to my nursing stress...coincidence? I think not!

These are just a few examples. I've got more. I ask. Learn to ask too.

Take good care,
P.S. Now that I think of it, I did get a wonderful filing system and 2 free hours of help setting it up; I recently had fun picking out three really cute tops at a great discount; and I've gotten a lot of insight into my mom need to pout.

Friday, November 28, 2008

Nursing Stress - Her Lesson And My Lesson

Nursing stress can add up quickly. Between the cell phone and the pager, the demands seem to come all at once at times. And sometimes just projecting on the fact that I know I'm going to be "pulled in multiple directions at once" can bring the most nursing stress of all. However, my patient taught me a lesson the other day...and I'd like to think that I did the same for her.

My day started off like any other day. Unpredictable. No sooner did I get my pager and my phone handed to me then off it went with a message stating "room #-- wants to discharge." I dropped what I was doing and went straight to my patient's room to give her a time frame for her discharge. On my way, I stopped my nurse assistant to see what the patient's morning vitals were. "Hmmm, heart rate is 130, but no fever? All other vitals within normal limits. Interesting," I thought.

She was anxious, speaking very quickly and had a very concerned look on her face. "Am I going to discharge? Can I have a pain pill? What's the plan?" she blurted out as soon as I introduced myself. I explained that I would discharge her a.s.a.p. and I brought her a pain pill. After all, according to her chart, the doctor had discharged her two days previous. Each day, however, the discharge got cancelled due to various reasons.

Ten minutes later, I get another page for the same patient. This page says, "room #-- throwing up." I drew up an IV anti-anxiety med. (with anti-emetic properties) and an IV antacid med. When I returned to her room, she had just thrown up about 300 ml's of green liquid and was sitting on the toilet with the trashcan between her knees. I soon learned that I could definitely rule out bowel obstruction.

She was a mess. She just kept repeating over and over, "How can I go home if I'm throwing up? I want to go home, but I'm afraid." I told her that I had brought the medication but that I wanted to talk to her about something. I wanted to talk to her about her anxiety.

I told her that I knew about anxiety from first-hand experience and I've had to learn to cope with anxiety in healthy ways. I told her that she needed to learn to recognize whenever she felt herself "working herself into a lather" and getting anxious (HR raising). I explained that it appeared that she had just had an anxiety attack. Anxiety starts in the mind. In this case, her body had joined her mind in "living in the future". I told her that the bottom line was that whenever a person is experiencing anxiety, they are living a month from now, a year from now, a day from now, etc. They are mentally living in the future and projecting the worst.

It was as if I turned on a light. She began quickly speaking about how anxious she was about going home and what the future held (chemo). She had never had to deal with this type of thing before. Basically, she spilled her guts and cried with relief as she acknowledged her anxious state. Her husband also readily admitted to having depression and anxiety issues.

We talked about how acknowledging her anxiety could be a tremendous gift. She was going to get to learn other ways of coping. They both were. We talked about how she and her husband could embrace the journey into healthy coping techniques or they could continue to fight it. They both acknowledged what I was saying as being true for them and vowed to learn better coping.

The rest of the day got progressively better. By the end of the shift, she had kept down two small meals (lunch and dinner) and hadn't thrown up again. She even waved to me in the hallway as her and her husband walked by.

Her lesson: Anxiety is living in the future, projecting the worst. Living in tomorrow and being sure that tomorrow is going to be horrible.

My lesson: Once again, the power of the present moment is everything. I choose to believe that my God exists in the now, the present moment. He's not off in the future somewhere. He's right in the now with me. The future hasn't happened yet. And I'm not a puppet being controlled by God. He gave me free will. I get choices. No matter what I choose, he knows how to help me through it and support me. That's his job. He does all the heavy lifting. In fact, he wants me to get in touch with my heart's desires so that I can experience true joy and happiness in this life. It's my job to ask my Creator to fulfill my heart's desires...yes, it's my job to do that...because that's how I can build my faith and trust in him. That's how I can experience his love for me.

Projecting into the future about nursing stress is a surefire way to bring more of it into your life. On the other hand, living in the now, asking for what you want and appreciating what you already have is part of a powerful solution.

If you'd like to know more about living in the now, staying ahead of nursing stress, and how to ask for your heart's desires, visit this link. Read the e-book, "I'm Rich Beyond My Wildest Dreams. I am. I am. I am." The book contains a straight forward system for asking and receiving. Plus, you may learn some new reasons that confirm why it's so important to live positively in the now.

Take good care,

Monday, November 24, 2008

Nursing Stress - Unintentional Human Error

Wow yesterday was a good day at work - free of the nursing stress that I heard the other nurses complaining about. The pace, the patients, the amount of help I had...everything was great. And it's exactly what I've been asking the universe for. I'm actually in shock. I can't believe it.

And I don't have to believe it. That's the cool part. All I have to do is get clear about what I want my life to look like and then be willing to put pen to paper and ask for it.

Now, as I said, it was a fantastic day at work yesterday...Right up until the end of the shift. The pharmacy lost the TPN they had prepared for my patient. So their solution to that problem was to send an actual pharmacist to come to our floor and physically look in my patients' rooms to see what was hanging on their IV poles??? Wow! I took that so personally. I was highly offended that they were insisting that somehow I had hung it and didn't remember or that I had hung it incorrectly or whatever??? My pride was hurt. My ego was hurt. I felt my reputation was being challenged. I was pissed off.

My actions and words were gracious though. I conducted myself with respect and that's the most important thing. However, after the pharmacist left, it hit me. I began bubbling inside. PISSED OFF! They were accusing me of negligence in some form and I was irate. However, something new and interesting happened as well. I became aware of the destructive power of the negative energy that I was bathing myself in and I made a conscious decision. I simply got out of the bath. I admitted my feelings to myself and a couple nearby co-workers and then I dropped it. Patient safety is first. This was not a personal vendetta against me. I'd like to think they would have done the same with any nurse in this scenario. Done. A check and balance system at work. Not personal. I'm a grown woman, not a little girl. My internal serenity is worth more to me than "justifying my resentment" towards our top notch pharmacy.

A short while later, a pharmacy runner came with the bag of TPN. He had put it on a different floor, different building! Ooooooops! Unintentional human error. Forgiven. Done.

To me, the ability to drop a resentment, to get perspective, to be a grown up, to not bath myself in negative emotions...that's how it feels in the life of MY dreams. That's how it feels.

Moral of the story? If we feed "it", it will grow. If we don't feed "it", it won't grow. So important. The importance of that moral is taking on a whole new meaning in my life nowadays and I'm reaping the rewards big time. The solutions to my nursing stress are inside of me, not outside.

I'm learning about abundance with a little help from: this link

Take care,

Thursday, November 20, 2008

Nursing Stress - Moving Past My Filter Into Abundance

Intellectually, I know there are MORE than two types of people in the world...but there are times when it sure does seem like the world is divided into just two groups. The two groups are the talkers and the listeners.

I've always fallen into the listener category myself. It's not that I can't talk or anything, it's just that I tend to be a, well, a least in a large group of people that is. :)

Now, I've given this topic a lot of thought --- surprise, surprise --- and I've gotten some insight recently on it. I realize that being a listener has two sides. In other words, listening is a gift! It's a wonderful quality to possess. It's a blessing. Except when it feels like it is squelching you and suppressing your growth. In that case, something has to change.

Recently someone was describing themselves by saying, "I'm such a big mouth. I just don't have a filter when it comes to speaking my mind. I always seem to talk too much." This struck me hard. And I realized that I am just the opposite.

What I realized is this. Part of my default mode is to have TOO MUCH filter. I shut myself down before I ever get started. I press my "mute" button. I second guess myself. I get confused. I get scattered and I lose my concentration. And then I get intimidated. And It's not because someone else is being too vocal. It's because I stubbornly filter myself and back down from participating in the discussion.

A very dear friend of mine has an expression. She can also relate to the "filter" dilemma from first hand experience. As she says, "I won't say shit if I have a mouthful." (pardon the expression) Not a good place to be, believe me.

Well, I know for a fact that I have the power within me to create the life of my dreams. And that goes for my internal (emotional) life as well as my external (abundant) life. In fact, I've believed that for a long time...I just didn't exactly know how to go about doing it. But now I do. There are zillions of tools available for anyone who wants to create a rich life. Click on this link and start by reading the book, "I'm Rich Beyond My Wildest Dreams. I am, I am, I am." It will change your life! It is mine!

Take good care,

Tuesday, November 11, 2008

Nursing Stress - Emotional Coward

Just the other day, I heard a man say, "I used to be an emotional coward when it came to relationships..." I was floored. First of all, that it came from a MAN! Second of all, I had never heard those two words put together. But that phrase, "emotional coward" struck a cord in me big time. I've been working with my mentor (this really neat lady that I trust deeply) about "clearing out" some internal stuff in me that I've been carrying around for a while. And I've had a huge revelation. Would you like to hear it? Here goes. I am very, very childlike in certain areas of my life. Surprise!

Now, on the other hand, (and this is the confusing part and why I haven't been able to see it for what it is) I am extremely responsible. I've been a mortgage holder since age 21. Never missed a payment. I've been married for 20 years. I have 3 great teenage kids, one of which we just sent off to college. I'm a nurse for goodness sake. I dispense morphine. I've worked at the same job, same employer for 5 years. Sometimes doctors ask me what to do with their patients, and I make suggestions that move the patient's progress along for the better (in other words, sometimes I tell doctors what to do and they listen)! I am an enthusiastic patient advocate. I precept student nurses and I'm good at it. I am a responsible person!

And I always thought that being responsible meant that I was automatically emotionally mature. Or that, at least, that I wasn't emotionally immature! But what I'm learning about myself is that I've been blessed with certain aspects to my personality that I've mistaken for emotional maturity. For example, I've been blessed with a kind heart towards my fellow man. I'm usually pretty calm. I am smart (or shall we say, I have good common sense). And I can be extremely patient, giving, compassionate and tolerant. These are gifts from my creator, and I am truly grateful for them.

All that being said, those traits do NOT automatically equal emotional maturity. And in certain areas of my life, I have been emotionally immature. I've been childlike. But I can't just call myself childlike and stop digging. I'm a 41 y/o woman! I want to grow up for goodness' sake! So what's behind this childlike feeling that takes over me in certain situations. All of the sudden I feel very small (emotionally). I feel inadequate. I get intimidated. I feel less than. It's fear! And one of the biggest fears I have is that "you" (whoever you are) aren't going to like me. (see...childlike)

Now we're getting somewhere. If I worry about what you think of me more than my own emotional serenity, I'm screwed! All the wonderful assets that are part of me that I listed above (patient, loving, kind, tolerant) get tangled up within me when I feel childlike. And I become an emotional coward. Usually this takes the form of not speaking. I've even named that behavior. I call it turning my "mute" button on.

But there's hope! There's hope, there's hope, there's hope! At least I can see it now. Those childlike feelings are fear. The fear is masking my pride and ego (remember "what will they think of me?"). And sometimes it's my pride and ego IN REVERSE ("I'm no good. I'll never measure up to them.") And somehow, I've gone into competition with YOU (whoever "you" are at the time). So when my childlike feelings kick in, I am going to call them what they really are. Pride and Ego and Competition with my fellow man!

And then guess what I'm gonna do? I'm gonna stop fighting. I surrender. There's no competition here. I refuse to fight with you. I'm a grown woman. I'm a spiritually centered, grown woman. No less than, no better than, not even equal to. I'm me. I'm uniquely me. There is no competition with you. I'm on my own journey with my creator. Unique. I'm me. No competition. Blessed.

Learn more about the link between "Growing up emotionally" and abundance. It's making all the difference for me.

God bless,